i cant even remember most of you like a boyfriend i had in 2007, but i know when it started i was living at katrinas on 38th and ruby. i was getting kicked out, mostly for smoking enough OCs to leave several garbage bags full of dirty tin foil around my room and to punch matt in the face several times with a roll full of quarters to make it look like he had gotten jumped. team WIN.
this gave rise to the season of JUNKIE NANNY. bang bang shoot shoot shiittt. a few months that were so perverse and awesome, i have yet to speak of it with people who werent there to witness it. fay came up from fresno and was banging a black guy, matt got a staff infection on his ass and i was entrusted with a 4 yr old, and a very obese shit machine that was supposed to be 2, but was closer to a very ancient mystical hobbit posing as a 2 year old. or something like the movie little man starring marlon wayans.
yeah. then i “move” to san diego, but the word collapse is a bit closer to what happened. for mothers day i am checked into a rehab center that i still havent paid for, and i think they miss me there because they keep calling.
insert months of mindless searching for something, suboxone, its beyond expected withdrawals and a job at a wine bar. where i hook everyone i know up with carafes of mimosas, pizza and shit, steal and subsequently drink endless amounts of cab sav and oh yeah, i have a “studio” across the street at ice gallery, which serves as a shit talking clubhouse to eat pizza and jack in the box in and tell taylor what colors he should use while avoiding the outside world. i sleep in the parking lot a few times and one drunk afternoon, attempt to close the side door with my car. i have promised to remove the paint transfer.
i left on a train for ape in october. did not spend longer than five days in the same city since then until a week ago. so all of november and most of december i was chasing my own shadow city to city and getting so burnt i came out exxxtra crispy. now im here. and the plans for next year are nice, but the biggest plan is just to give up on holding on to all the mistakes and trying to mold them into something else. like maybe its time to start with a new pile.